Sorry, != means "not equal to". I'll explain that in a second. Or an hour, that all depends on how long it takes you to read this entry.
Yes, it was that time of year again. "What time of year was it?" you may ask. It was time to drive the golf carts at the FWCI, Florida Workers Compensation In.....incongruous..... I have no idea what the "i" stands for. Around this time of year, that business convention comes to town and a company that a brother in my hall works for has us drive people back and forth between the convention center and the parking garage. The parking garage and the hotel lobby. The convention center and the time-shares. Well, you get the point. It is quite possibly the coolest job in existance.
So we get there at a little past 8, and wouldn't you know it, the cart I go for has a dead battery. So I made Daniel Thompson take turns driving his cart with me. We were really tired and goofy, so we decided to talk to the people we picked up as if we were Stong Bad and Homestar Runner. It was pretty sad, no one even called us on the weird voices or even acted like they noticed. I was going to try to pull off Homsar's voice, but I didn't think any one would believe it. The first day went pretty well. Good tips. Good times. David whomped us with tips though. There's only so much flirting you can do with old ladies to get tips before you start looking weird. Maybe he'll remember that next year.
The second day started of ssslllllooooowwwwww. Slow. I picked up no one for almost an hour and a half. Uneventful would fall short of describing that day. Afterwards, I went to the mall and bought a game with the tips I received. So as I get to the register to pay, I pull out this huge wad of cash. The guy on the other side of the counter was eyeing my money with a puzzled, if not frightened look on his face. I assured him that it was not from selling drugs. As it was all "ones" and just one "twenty". He left to do something else and mentioned that it could be from stripping. I asked him to take a look at my physique and say that again, just as a girl came to take my money for the game. She had heard the word "stripping" and had a puzzled look on her face. No doubt she had taken a look at my physique after he had said that and knew it not to be true. So I spent the next two minutes during the transaction explaining that I was neither a stripper nor a drug dealer. But the latter was closer due to my birthplace. Ok, I didn't say that but I thought it loudly.
The third day (just a half day) was great. Made more in tips in that short time than in the previous days. One of the guys that directs traffic, we see him every year, was asking where that girl that worked with me last year was. I assumed he was talking about Nina, since David is not quite feminine enough to be confused for a girl. I was debating whether not to explain that she was in Thailand when I organized who was going to work the convention this year, when the ginormous 18-wheeler coming down the road at me changed my mind. I was already backed into by someone driving an avalanche. I wasn't looking to continue the trend with a mack truck.
Like I said, best job ever.
Yes, it was that time of year again. "What time of year was it?" you may ask. It was time to drive the golf carts at the FWCI, Florida Workers Compensation In.....incongruous..... I have no idea what the "i" stands for. Around this time of year, that business convention comes to town and a company that a brother in my hall works for has us drive people back and forth between the convention center and the parking garage. The parking garage and the hotel lobby. The convention center and the time-shares. Well, you get the point. It is quite possibly the coolest job in existance.
So we get there at a little past 8, and wouldn't you know it, the cart I go for has a dead battery. So I made Daniel Thompson take turns driving his cart with me. We were really tired and goofy, so we decided to talk to the people we picked up as if we were Stong Bad and Homestar Runner. It was pretty sad, no one even called us on the weird voices or even acted like they noticed. I was going to try to pull off Homsar's voice, but I didn't think any one would believe it. The first day went pretty well. Good tips. Good times. David whomped us with tips though. There's only so much flirting you can do with old ladies to get tips before you start looking weird. Maybe he'll remember that next year.
The second day started of ssslllllooooowwwwww. Slow. I picked up no one for almost an hour and a half. Uneventful would fall short of describing that day. Afterwards, I went to the mall and bought a game with the tips I received. So as I get to the register to pay, I pull out this huge wad of cash. The guy on the other side of the counter was eyeing my money with a puzzled, if not frightened look on his face. I assured him that it was not from selling drugs. As it was all "ones" and just one "twenty". He left to do something else and mentioned that it could be from stripping. I asked him to take a look at my physique and say that again, just as a girl came to take my money for the game. She had heard the word "stripping" and had a puzzled look on her face. No doubt she had taken a look at my physique after he had said that and knew it not to be true. So I spent the next two minutes during the transaction explaining that I was neither a stripper nor a drug dealer. But the latter was closer due to my birthplace. Ok, I didn't say that but I thought it loudly.
The third day (just a half day) was great. Made more in tips in that short time than in the previous days. One of the guys that directs traffic, we see him every year, was asking where that girl that worked with me last year was. I assumed he was talking about Nina, since David is not quite feminine enough to be confused for a girl. I was debating whether not to explain that she was in Thailand when I organized who was going to work the convention this year, when the ginormous 18-wheeler coming down the road at me changed my mind. I was already backed into by someone driving an avalanche. I wasn't looking to continue the trend with a mack truck.
Like I said, best job ever.
4 comments:
Hehehe..Funny.
Driving those golf carts can be quite fun..
I KNEW IT! I'll be watching you Mr. V.
Police officer: Sir, your house burned to the ground.
Man: Oh my...what-wha...
Police officer: I know, it's devastating to hear. But I do have some good news!
Man: You saved our photographs and inportant documents?
Police officer: No...I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!
Man: Uh?
Police officer: It was an ugly house anyways.
I wish I could have seen the look on that poor girl's faces and she heard you say that you were a stripper. She had to wonder how did he get all those ones?
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